How I learn to deal with fear
In today's world filled with hi-tech devices and a "Go-Go-Go!" mentality, we are as stressful as ever. When stressed, our ability to control and overcome fear is marginalized considerably. Fear is really quite the controversial emotion. We need this emotion to prevent us from doing potentially harmful things like putting our head in an alligator's mouth. Yet too much fear prevents us from doing anything meaningful at all. Susan Jeffers's Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway is a gem. This self-help classic offers pragmatic ways to deal with the topic of fear. Allow me to share with you a few of my favorite lessons.
1) What do you supposed is the biggest fear of all? Susan declares that the biggest fear that each of us faces is ... wait for it (imagine Barney from How i met your mother)... the fear that we can't handle whatever life brings. "What? That's it", you may ask, "What about heavy stuff like death, cancer, terrorist attack" Give it a few seconds to sink in. Once I digested out this idea, I understand that if I can convince myself that I can handle everything that comes my way, I truly have nothing to fear.
2) To build on the first concept, Susan introduces the idea of being in a victim's mindset. An individual is in a victim's mindset when he/she blames outside forces for anything that happens to him/her or how him/her feels. This again was a tough one to grapple with. "This means even though someone intentionally does something to harm you, you still cannot blame them for making you feel angry or upset?", you might think, "that don't make any bloody sense?". Or does it? At the end of the day, you have complete control over yourself regardless of what happens to you. Even dire situations like losing a loved-one or collapsing financially, when you blame your state of being or feeling on someone else, you are really willing to hand over control to that something or someone. As tough as it sounds, we need to believe with conviction that only one person can make you happy or unhappy - and that person is you.
3) Speaking of making yourself unhappy, ever notice a little voice inside our head that just love talking slack? Things like "You are soooo pathetic. I can't believe how weak you have become. What a stupid and unreliable person you are. *Sigh* You disappoint me." The is our chatterbox and it exists in our mind. To mitigate, we must out-talk our negativity. How, you ask? By repeating positive messages known as affirmations. I suggest posting positive message like "I'll handle it" at home, at work, in your car, on your phone. Another way to battle your chatterbox is simply to repeat messages like "I am in total and complete control over myself" over and over in your head. It almost sounds silly but believe me, it does work. These techniques are especially helpful during times of stress and weakness. If you can do this successfully, your world opens up and you become magnitudes happier.
In full disclosure, I am not writing this because I am an expert. I am not. I am writing this because I benefited and I want more people to also benefit. This book helped me tremendously in coping with a difficult situation. I still listen to this book on most of my commute to work. If you don't buy these ideas now, give it some time and revisit later.
I hope that I've peaked your interest to the point you want to explore more about positive thinking. Why not pick up a copy of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway at your local library. It is a quick and easy read.
Leave me a comment if you find this blog helpful. I'd really love to hear from you.
1) What do you supposed is the biggest fear of all? Susan declares that the biggest fear that each of us faces is ... wait for it (imagine Barney from How i met your mother)... the fear that we can't handle whatever life brings. "What? That's it", you may ask, "What about heavy stuff like death, cancer, terrorist attack" Give it a few seconds to sink in. Once I digested out this idea, I understand that if I can convince myself that I can handle everything that comes my way, I truly have nothing to fear.
2) To build on the first concept, Susan introduces the idea of being in a victim's mindset. An individual is in a victim's mindset when he/she blames outside forces for anything that happens to him/her or how him/her feels. This again was a tough one to grapple with. "This means even though someone intentionally does something to harm you, you still cannot blame them for making you feel angry or upset?", you might think, "that don't make any bloody sense?". Or does it? At the end of the day, you have complete control over yourself regardless of what happens to you. Even dire situations like losing a loved-one or collapsing financially, when you blame your state of being or feeling on someone else, you are really willing to hand over control to that something or someone. As tough as it sounds, we need to believe with conviction that only one person can make you happy or unhappy - and that person is you.
3) Speaking of making yourself unhappy, ever notice a little voice inside our head that just love talking slack? Things like "You are soooo pathetic. I can't believe how weak you have become. What a stupid and unreliable person you are. *Sigh* You disappoint me." The is our chatterbox and it exists in our mind. To mitigate, we must out-talk our negativity. How, you ask? By repeating positive messages known as affirmations. I suggest posting positive message like "I'll handle it" at home, at work, in your car, on your phone. Another way to battle your chatterbox is simply to repeat messages like "I am in total and complete control over myself" over and over in your head. It almost sounds silly but believe me, it does work. These techniques are especially helpful during times of stress and weakness. If you can do this successfully, your world opens up and you become magnitudes happier.
In full disclosure, I am not writing this because I am an expert. I am not. I am writing this because I benefited and I want more people to also benefit. This book helped me tremendously in coping with a difficult situation. I still listen to this book on most of my commute to work. If you don't buy these ideas now, give it some time and revisit later.
I hope that I've peaked your interest to the point you want to explore more about positive thinking. Why not pick up a copy of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway at your local library. It is a quick and easy read.
Leave me a comment if you find this blog helpful. I'd really love to hear from you.
Nice! You make me want to blog again!
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